Here's a part of the personal story behind the professional one of twenty years as a technologist and manager, and seventeen as a consultant and coach.

I had thought the security, health and happiness of my family was a comprehensive set of goals. I had assumed the identities of husband, father and professional but lost my own, learning to deny my resentment each time I gave more of my power over to others; I must have been motivated by fear of their displeasure. I witnessed in my bosses the addictive nature of position power and later as I acquired it, found myself defending it. I had noticed that I was much more comfortable and effective when I was in touch with myself and when others experienced that, we powerfully collaborated. Eventually I learned that any attempt to exercise power over others is manipulative and abusive and found how truly satisfying it is to exercise power over oneself.

I've been called "professor" and told by many that "you should have been a teacher." This was not the path I thought I had taken. Now I see that the skill I have been developing for a very long time is in the sorting through of certain kinds of complex, relational puzzles. My most important success is that I have, to some degree, been able to sort through myself. My team leadership and membership experiences, my successes and failures, may or may not be the same as yours. What is more important is that my working life has been my classroom and the ways through which I have learned to appreciate leadership and the lessons I have learned about it, may also be helpful to you.

If you are trying to better understand leadership in your life, we should be able to have a very interesting Leadership Conversation.